My brain works on overtime! Some people would think this is amazing while others find it to be a bummer....usually those on the bummer end are the ones who end up listening to me talk. = ) I think about things that I'd be willing to bet never cross other peoples minds. Like why we want moon rocks......personally I think a Mars rock would be a lot cooler. Why are we here if all we do is work to live?
I know all my faults as well as all of my good traits. I can see the upside to every situation while being able to see the downside at the same time. I try to practice what I preach but that's a lot easier said than done. I like to do the things I like to do regardless of what other people think is appropriate but at the same time as much as I try not to care I still care what people think. I believe hardcore in astrology. I change my mind about what I want to do every single day but I never forget anything I've ever wanted to do. I want to make a difference and help people but I never know how to do that.
I feel like I was meant to do something great but I just can't figure out what it is. Its extremely frustrating for me to have all these ideas all of the time and never know what to do with them. You see I'm a thinker, a planner. I am not a doer! I know that's something I need to change and I am working on it. But right now that's just not enough for me. Nothing ever seems to be enough for me.
Helping one person is great but I want something bigger than that.....I want to help EVERYONE! I don't want people to suffer and be unhappy. Because I always want something bigger I never get started doing something smaller. Does that make any sense?
You would think being home all day I'd have tons of time to do something great. That is not the case for me. I'm so unbelievably bored with life right now! I tried starting school. I thought that would solve my problem because then I'm doing something with myself I'm not just completely wasting time. Did that work? No! I'm still bored out of my mind. I need to find something I can do during the day that makes me feel like I'm doing something productive with my time.
Its kind of like......if you woke up tomorrow and found out you had just one day to live what would you be able to say about your life? This is the question I've been asking myself a lot lately. This is the question that is making me crazy!
My answer...........NOTHING! I mean I graduated high school and don't get me wrong that is a great accomplishment but its nothing extraordinary. I love my family and my friends and that is also something I am very proud of. But really I haven't done anything with my life. I know, I know I'm only 21 years old.......how can I possibly say that when I have my whole life ahead of me? Its easy really......it takes one person one second to make a difference. Sounds strange doesn't it?
Think of it this way....you're walking into work and you smile at the gentleman while your waiting for him to catch up so you can hold the door open for him. A genuine smile from a stranger can mean the world! Now you've made his day and he goes into work and gives a promotion to a deserving employee whose been struggling to make ends meet. Now he has made her day. On her way home she stops at a local pizza parlor to grab dinner for her husband and kids. While waiting for her pizza the young girl behind the counter makes small talk and seems nice enough. On her way out with her pizza she gives the girl a $5.00 tip. That tip was unexpected but certainly appreciated and it makes the young girls day. She takes it home and puts it in her savings jar thats about ready to be cashed in. With that money she's ready to apply to medical school. A lot of hard work and a few years later she graduates at the top of her class. We now have one of the best doctors because someone took the time to smile at a stranger!
We all have it in us to be great, unfortunately only a small percentage of us ever really reach our full potential. You don't have to be a grown up, have a college degree, money, time, or anything really. All you have to have is the desire to make a difference!
I'm pretty sure I have that now all I need to do is find a way to tap into it!
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