Dream Book

I love Christmas! The lights, presents, shopping, hot chocolate, christmas cookies, family, friends, ornaments, santa, snowmen, snow angles, christmas carols......I just love it all so much!

That being said...it just hit me that we are already 9 days into December and Christmas is right around the corner. As fantastic as that is it also hit me that 2011 is right around the next corner. Why does that matter so much? New years always makes me stop and take a look at my life (I think its the whole resolution thing) and usually I can't help but think I wish I had done more. So I've decided this upcoming year is going to be different.

My brain doesn't work the same as most peoples I don't think. If you read my blog or talk to me you will see I change my mind a lot! Because I change my mind so much its hard for me to really get into and stay into one project. There are so many things I want to do but most of them involve being able to focus my thoughts and really stay into what I'm doing for more than a day. I know the person I want to be, I know the things I want to do I just have to figure out how to get myself to that point. In order to do that I'm starting a dream book!

Dream Book? No guys its not for tracking the dreams I have while I sleep. I've decided to take the idea of a dream board and expand it! I have a dream board and it is effective to a certain point. But after awhile it kind of just become something that hangs on my wall...like a piece of art....when you first get it you take the time to really admire it but after awhile you just walk past it like its not a big deal. My dream board is now something that just fades into the background when I'm in my room. I figured if I had a notebook I can carry with me or constantly add to I'll be able to keep track of everything I want to do and all of my ideas. That way nothing is left behind!

I'm also hoping in creating this dream book it will allow me to get my ideas better organized so I'm capable of focusing on the things I want!

Who Says I Can't?

I've been hearing I'm crazy a lot lately. = ) I also get weird and strange sometimes too. Personally I think they're compliments!

I like to do the things that I like to do, when I want to do them, regardless of what people think. Now I suppose that can sound sort of snobby but I don't mean for it to. It's more like people give me that...what is wrong with her look a lot...I'm guessing it has to do with the things I do and the way I do them.

People take life to seriously! You should enjoy life and make the most out of everyday whether you're 16, 18, 21, 40 or 85. Who put an age restriction on fun?

When I was younger (writing that always makes me giggle because I am only 21) I wasn't one of those people who couldn't wait to grow up. I wanted to stay young forever. In fact at one point I decided that 18 was as old as I wanted to get. I loved high school, I thought it was a blast! I liked going to football games, dances, looking forward to weekends so I could sleep in.

Not only where there so many great things about being a kid but I also looked at all the adults I knew and it never seemed like they had any fun. My parents both worked full time by the time they got home it was dinner then watching TV until bed. Seemed like such a boring way to live! = ( Most of my friend's parents were the same way. I could never understand why they didn't make time for more fun. I swore I would never let my life be like that. It's like you're working just to live.

I mean what is the point? You get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed, then get up and do it all over again. Every day its the same thing and why? So you can pay you're mortgage so you have a place to eat, sleep and watch TV? It just doesn't balance out in my head. Maybe its just me?

Now that I am actually a grown up I can't understand for the life of me why everyone looks so forward to it. Bills, work, bills, work, bills, work, school, school bills....that's pretty much my life.
Because I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to live life just to survive I make the most of everything I do! In doing that I have tons of fun!!!!!!! That's why people think I'm crazy.


I'm 21..........

• I'm addicted to playing Facebook games
• I read the A List Books, Gossip Girl and Twilight
• Taylor Lautner is one of the hottest guys alive!
• I hate the Jersey Shore
• I am a big believer in astrology.....its all about the zodiac = )
• I love High School Musical and I own all 3 DVDs
• Sometimes I wear my sunglassses inside....why? Just because I feel like it
• I like hanging out with my brother and sister
• Saving money is hard for me
• I have a DVD addiction
• I have pen pals in jail and all over the world
• I love piggy banks
• Dressing up for Halloween is a must.....and I don't mean in the sluttiest costume possible...in fact I'm thinking this year I'll be Mario and I'll have someone else be Luigi
• I enjoy playing video games....Donkey Kong, Super Mario......YEAH BUDDY!!!!!
• I like to color
• I enjoy playing with bubbles
• Playing on the swings, building sand castles, drawing with chalk....all sound good to me
• The Scooby's Hot Dog Guy that stands on North Ave makes me giggle....I love that guy!
• I wish on shooting stars and when the clock says 11:11
• I still enjoy the B96 summer bash
• I actually get in the pool when we decide to swim......I don't know how people can just lay there and bake...that is not fun to me.
• I'd rather pick flowers than plant them
• Football Sunday is NOT the highlight of my week
• Reading forward emails usually makes me smile and I enjoy it
• Fun quotes make me feel happy
• I enjoy just driving around singing along to the radio
• I think people who drive to slow should get tickets
• They should let me coach the Chicago Bulls....You guys have so much talent....you really should be better!
• I love getting mail!
• I say hi and wave to everybody
• Building snowmen is a must in the winter
• I go outside with my hair wet in the winter even though I know I shouldn't
• I still haven't become friends with the iron or the sewing machine

People think just because you're a grown up you have to act a certain way and you can't do certain things. I say......FORGET THAT!!!!!! If it sounds like fun to me I'm going to do it. I don't care if people think I'm to old. 

You wont be here forever so you might as well enjoy it while you are! Don't let what other people think hold you back!

Is it Just Me?

I think maybe I'm a strange person and I mean this in the best way possible. Of course I suppose it's totally possible that I think I'm just super unique when really the way I think isn't that much different from anyone after all. 

My brain works on overtime! Some people would think this is amazing while others find it to be a bummer....usually those on the bummer end are the ones who end up listening to me talk. = ) I think about things that I'd be willing to bet never cross other peoples minds. Like why we want moon rocks......personally I think a Mars rock would be a lot cooler. Why are we here if all we do is work to live? 

I know all my faults as well as all of my good traits. I can see the upside to every situation while being able to see the downside at the same time. I try to practice what I preach but that's a lot easier said than done. I like to do the things I like to do regardless of what other people think is appropriate but at the same time as much as I try not to care I still care what people think. I believe hardcore in astrology. I change my mind about what I want to do every single day but I never forget anything I've ever wanted to do. I want to make a difference and help people but I never know how to do that. 

I feel like I was meant to do something great but I just can't figure out what it is. Its extremely frustrating for me to have all these ideas all of the time and never know what to do with them. You see I'm a thinker, a planner. I am not a doer! I know that's something I need to change and I am working on it. But right now that's just not enough for me. Nothing ever seems to be enough for me. 

Helping one person is great but I want something bigger than that.....I want to help EVERYONE! I don't want people to suffer and be unhappy. Because I always want something bigger I never get started doing something smaller. Does that make any sense?

You would think being home all day I'd have tons of time to do something great. That is not the case for me. I'm so unbelievably bored with life right now! I tried starting school. I thought that would solve my problem because then I'm doing something with myself I'm not just completely wasting time. Did that work? No! I'm still bored out of my mind. I need to find something I can do during the day that makes me feel like I'm doing something productive with my time. 

Its kind of like......if you woke up tomorrow and found out you had just one day to live what would you be able to say about your life? This is the question I've been asking myself a lot lately. This is the question that is making me crazy! 

My answer...........NOTHING! I mean I graduated high school and don't get me wrong that is a great accomplishment but its nothing extraordinary. I love my family and my friends and that is also something I am very proud of. But really I haven't done anything with my life. I know, I know I'm only 21 years old.......how can I possibly say that when I have my whole life ahead of me? Its easy really......it takes one person one second to make a difference. Sounds strange doesn't it? 

Think of it this way....you're walking into work and you smile at the gentleman while your waiting for him to catch up so you can hold the door open for him. A genuine smile from a stranger can mean the world! Now you've made his day and he goes into work and gives a promotion to a deserving employee whose been struggling to make ends meet. Now he has made her day. On her way home she stops at a local pizza parlor to grab dinner for her husband and kids. While waiting for her pizza the young girl behind the counter makes small talk and seems nice enough. On her way out with her pizza she gives the girl a $5.00 tip. That tip was unexpected but certainly appreciated and it makes the young girls day. She takes it home and puts it in her savings jar thats about ready to be cashed in. With that money she's ready to apply to medical school. A lot of hard work and a few years later she graduates at the top of her class. We now have one of the best doctors because someone took the time to smile at a stranger! 

We all have it in us to be great, unfortunately only a small percentage of us ever really reach our full potential. You don't have to be a grown up, have a college degree, money, time, or anything really. All you have to have is the desire to make a difference!

I'm pretty sure I have that now all I need to do is find a way to tap into it!

Jail Time!

About a month ago I decided to join a program that allows me to be penpals with men and women in prison. When I told my family what I was doing they had that jaw dropping look. "Why would you want to do that?" Is the question I hear most of the time....so let me clear it up for everyone!

I enjoy writing letters. I enjoy receiving letters. I also enjoy helping people. With this program I'm doing all three of those things at the same time. Plus it makes me feel really good. When I get their letters and they tell me about themselves and how happy they are to receive my letter it makes me feel like what I'm doing makes them happy...even if it's just for that 20 minutes they spend reading my letter and writing me back.

Not all people in jail are horrible people. Now don't get your panties in a bunch....I'm not saying we should let them all out either. I simply think that being in jail they're paying their debt to society and we shouldn't just write them off as horrible people. They're trying to make things right and we should have an open mind when looking at who they really are.

It's amazing to me how reading their letters can make me feel so lucky. It makes me remember how lucky I am to have a family, to have a place to live, and friends who care about me.

Most of the guys I write to tell me a lot about how they grew up and how that affected the things they did....which led to their being in prison. I read about all the bad stuff they went through and it make me grateful that I live in a nice neighborhood and that I have a mom and a dad who love me.

So when I talk to someone and I tell them I'm pen pals with people in jail I don't care that they don't like it! We look at these men in prison like they're so horrible when really a lot of them are in there working to turn their lives around. They go to church services and work on their education. I think its extremely admirable to take such a bad situation and turn it into a positive.

The guy I write to most often is extremely intelligent. He also tells me about how when he gets out he wants to help people. He wants to be able to take care of his family. He also tells me about how proud he is to have me as a friend.

It makes me feel so good knowing that he appreciates me taking a little bit of my time to write to him. Not all of the men in prison are bad people. They have hopes and dreams just like the rest of us. So why is everyone so quick to judge them?

I actually think its really funny. A lot of people think I'm a judgmental person and I'm not going to lie I am to some degree...but I'm working on it. But those same people were the ones whose eyes almost popped out of their heads when I told them I'm pen pals with these men in jail. Seriously guys....isn't that being judgmental?

Riding Cross Country

Recently I've decided that I want to ride my bike across the United States! At first I thought I wanted to walk across the country but then I was like forget that. So biking seemed like a much faster way to go. Then I decided if I'm going to do it I'm going to do it for a good reason.

So now I'm gong to bike across the country to raise money and awareness for Narcolepsy. 

Narcolepsy is a sleep disorder in which suffers experience excessive daytime sleepiness. These periods of extreme sleepiness are also known as sleep attacks. Sleep attacks occur suddenly often causing people to fall asleep at inappropriate times...like at work, in class, driving, with friends. Besides the excessive sleepiness symptoms of narcolepsy are cataplexy, sleep paralysis, and hypnagogic hallucinations. Of the three cataplexy can be dangerous for some depending on the severity. Cataplexy is the loss of muscle control. Most episodes are brought on when an extreme emotion is experienced.....emotions such as anger, laughter, surprise. People don't understand what narcolepsy is, how severe it can be, or how hard it is to live with. 

Its thought that most narcoleptics go years before being diagnosed. I can tell you as someone living with narcolepsy that dealing with it while being on medication is difficult. I can also tell you as someone who learned the hard way that they were narcoleptic living with it untreated is unbelievably difficult. 

In December of 2007 I was driving home from a school orientation. Getting ready to start college, being 18 years old, and having just gotten a new car....or well knew to me it was acutally a used explorer, I was excited and ready to begin my life! That night coming home I started to feel sleepy. I figured I'd be okay I mean it happens all the time and I'm always able to make it home. I didn't have that much further to go so I decided to just keep going. That night I fell asleep behind the wheel and totaled my car, got 2 tickets that ended up costing me like $500, I lost my license...which they still haven't given back, they made me go to driving school....yes thats right driving school after having taken my license away! I lost my freedom that night! I also smashed some poor guys car and he hit the guy in front of him who went on to hit the guy in front of him. I caused a really bad accident. I'm so thankful that nobody was hurt but they could have been....and because why? Because I was driving thinking it would be okay. Not knowing that I suffered from a disorder that made it impossible for me to control these sleep attacks on my own. 

Narcolepsy is serious and it makes it so much harder to live with when people around you think its a big joke. People are mean and rude when I fall asleep when I'm with them. They say stuff that makes me feel bad because its something I can't control. They don't seem to understand that I CAN NOT CONTROL IT! If I could I wouldn't waste away my days sleeping. People don't like to go out and do things with me because chances are I'm going to fall asleep. Living with narcolepsy takes a pretty heft toll on your life and having people be so ignorant about it makes it so much harder to deal with. 

I'd like to help everyone! I'd like to raise awareness so those living with it don't have such a hard time trying to make everyone understand. I'd like to raise awareness so that nobody has to realize they have it after its to late! I'd like to raise money to help the research being done so maybe one day they'll find a cure. Lastly I'd like to show all of the narcoleptics out there that just because we have this extra hurdle we have to get over every day of our lives doesn't mean that we should give up on our dreams.

I recently posted about my goal of biking across the country for narcolepsy on a forum in one of those online communities for narcolepsy. While the feedback I got was great and knowing that they were behind me supporting me was amazing most of them still said that this wasn't something they could do. 

I don't want anyone to think that doing this means I have a slight case of narcolepsy because thats not true at all. In fact the first time I went and saw my neurologist he told me I had an impressive case...in doctor speak I guess that means its pretty severe. I also have a slight case of cataplexy. Lucky me mine occurs when I laugh....being one of the most experienced emotions that works out well for me. Everyone I'm with says stuff because every time I laugh my head drops and I make this horrible face because I can't control the muscles in my face. I also have to be really careful because its starting to get worse. My legs start to give out and my arms too causing whatever I'm holding to fall straight to the floor. I haven't actually ended up in the floor yet....I'm kind of really hoping it doesn't get that bad. Yeah so back to what I was saying....I'm not doing this because I have a slight case of narcolepsy and it will be easier for me. It wont be easy for me at all. The narcolepsy is something I'll have to fight with every day of my journey. But in accomplishing this I'm hoping to do something great for all of us and to me its worth the struggle for those 3 or 4 months. 

The last thing I want to tell everyone is that I recently read about a cyclist who is narcoleptic. His name is Franck Bouyer. Like most of us he was taking a medication to help control his narcolepsy. Unfortunately the medicine he was taking was something that athletes competing like he was were not allowed to take. Until just recently they would not let him compete. This man who suffers from something he can't control is not allowed to do something he loves because he was taking medication to try to allow himself to live as normally as possible. Does that seem fair to anyone? I can't believe they were allowed to keep him from competing. 

For those of you who don't know much about narcolepsy....even taking medication doesn't fix us completely. We can try our best to live normal lives but that just is not how it usually works out. Taking medication doesn't affect us the same as it would if someone who didn't suffer from narcolepsy would be affected....OBVIOUSLY!!! That was a pretty DUH thing to say wasn't it? In saying this I mean simply an athlete who didn't have narcolepsy might take the medication and it would have some sort of affect on him. An athlete who has narcolepsy and takes his medication....is just trying to function as normally as all the other athletes starting out. It doesn't enhance his performance! He simply takes medication to make him normal....or as close to normal as we can get. 

Alright now that I've rambled and I'm sure if you've made it this far your tired of reading this. But I promise I'm almost done. I just want to tell you all about the actual trip. 

I'd like to do it to support narcolepsy. I'd like to get those silicon bracelets to hand out along my journey. I think Dare to Dream would be a great name for my journey and the bracelets!

Dreaming has to do with sleeping which narcoleptics do a lot of but dare to dream also tells us that we should never give up on our dreams. That we deal with this thing others don't have to but it shouldn't hold us back!

I'm hoping to start on my birthday of next year which falls at the end of March. I'd like to travel across the middle part of the country....personally I think because the northern and southern parts are the skinnier parts of the country its kind of like cheating....like cutting corners in gym class. If you're going to do it might as well do it right! Living right in the middle of the United States I guess my starting point can be wherever I want it to be since I'll have to travel there regardless. I was thinking of maybe starting in Virginia and going along the transamerica route. Although that route has me ending in Oregon...why? I have no idea. To me it makes more sense to end in California and thats where I would like to end. So maybe I'll follow that route most of the way and then branch off. 

Its a pretty expensive journey and very time consuming. I'm hoping to have either my brother, sister or mom go with me. While they don't suffer from narcolepsy they have to deal with me everyday and I think it would be great for them to be part of this and hopefully it will help them understand what it is I go through. 

I'd like to find some way to contact Mr. Franck Bouyer and let him know what I'm trying to do. That my journey is also for him! 

I still have to figure out how the whole donation thing works. Do I have to be connected with a charity before I start? Can I just collect donations and then hand them over to the research people myself? Is there any way to get the bracelets paid for? I'm not sure if you guys know this but those things are kind of pricey! I figured I'll need a lot to hand out and for just like 10,000 its running a $4,000.00 bill. I don't know about you but that adds an extra ton to what I have to save for the trip already. I'm not saying I wont because I'm more than willing to! I'd just like to make the trip before I'm 50 and with the money I make saving is kind of hard for me. To get the $4,000 for just the bracelets well thats going to take awhile. Then I need the bike and the cost of the actual trip. Maybe I'll have to postpone my starting date....although thats really not something I want to do.

You see I know me and for those of you that actually know me we know that I'm an idea person. Everything I see, hear, and read sparks an idea. Because I have ideas constantly flowing it usually means that about 99% of them stay just ideas. I jump to the next idea before having time to follow through with the first one. I don't want this to become one of those ideas that got skipped over!

This is something I really want to do! It something thats really important to me!

If anyone has any ideas for my trip or raising money or anything let me know! I appreciate it!

I like the idea........

So I've come to the conclusion that I like the idea...........of a lot of things. But when it comes to actually liking something I'm not so for it. Does that sound weird? Here let me help you understand.


I always thought I wanted to live on the beach. I used to tell my mom all the time that I was going to move to Florida! Sounds great having grown up near Chicago. No cold winters and you can be at the beach 24/7....very nice. : ) Recently I've decided that while I love the idea of the beach I don't actually love the beach. Sure its beautiful and hot....but just in case you aren't aware the sun is BRUTAL!!!! I was on the beach for about 3 or 4 hours one day and I got the worst sunburn of my life. I mean my head got puffy, it killed me to wear clothes. I went like 3 days without a bra it hurt so bad. Then you got the sand. I hate and I mean absolutely hate being sandy. You get sandy,  you go in the water to wash it off and then BAM you're sandy all over again. Not so much fun if you ask me!

Then we have sports. Now I like to think I'm a sports fan, I keep up with basketball, I know when the superbowls going on and whose in it (most of the time) and I know that the Blackhawks just won the Stanley Cup.....YAY CHICAGO! I always think to myself that I would like to play tennis. I mean how hard could it be smacking a ball over a net. Note to self....chasing that little yellow ball all over that court....not so much fun : (  I always think playing golf looks like something I'd like to try but when you really think about it....why in the world would you want to smack a tiny ball as hard as you can just to have to go track it down to do the same thing all over again. Now I'm not going to lie given the chance I'd still like to try playing a real game of golf but I have a feeling I will end up liking the idea of golf more than playing golf. Same goes with just about every sport I can think of.

Exercising........fun! I always think this is it I'm going to lose the weight. I'm going to wake up early and walk every morning. Then I'm going to swim a bunch of laps and do yard work. I'll be shedding the pound in no time : ) But again I think I like the idea of doing all those things more than I like doing them. Now I don't know if its just because I'm a round person but walking doesn't really appeal to me. Its like those people that go mall walking....why would I want to walk around the mall to look at stuff I can't buy? Wouldn't you rather be at home playing wii or something?

Is it just me? I have this I like the idea..... problem with just about everything. Like starting college. I love the idea. I think about the classes and what I'll do afterwards and all the clubs I want to join. It all sounds so great in my head. Then it comes time to actually do something and surprise, surprise its not as great as it was in my head. SO I like the idea of it but I don't actually like IT!

Summer Time!

Today is June 7th and I've decided that this summer is not going to be like every other summer. I know I've said that to myself every year from the past 10 years of my life but this time I mean it. Usually my summer consist of waking up late, laying my the pool, watching TV or playing online, work then bed. Not very productive. I'm tired of just lounging around and not having anything to show for the whole 3 months of summer. This years going to be different!

I've decided that I want to take a dance class or jazzercise. I love to dance but I don't like to do things alone and no one I know thats around seems to share my love of dance. Therefore finding someone to take a class with me is not the easiest thing to do. But I've decided to suck it up and I'm either going to have to sucker someone into taking it with me or I'm going to do it alone. Either way I'm going to do it! I'm leaning more towards Jazzercise that way I also get my workout in at the same time. : ) Good plan right!

Next I think I'll spend more time outside. I know that sounds kind of weird it being the summer and all but if you know me its a much need goal. Since the invention of air condition I find it more convenient to sit inside where its cool and play online or watch TV. You have no idea how many days of my life I've wasted this way : (  So I don't know exactly how I'm going to go about accomplishing this but it is something I'm going to do. Maybe I'll try getting a killer tan this summer : ) It will be like killing two birds with one stone! My yard could also use a little....okay...maybe a lot of work. I suppose I could try to squeeze some yard work in with my tanning.

I've always wanted to volunteer. When I was in high school they had these clubs that were all about volunteering and I wanted to join so bad but I never did....why? Because I don't like doing things by myself and again its not something my friends were into. Now I have tons of spare time and just lounging around is starting to make me crazy. I can't stand not being productive so I figured why not help people! I've been looking through www.volunteermatch.com to find volunteer opportunities both online and around my town. There is a ton! I definitely wont run out of places to volunteer.

The last thing is to cure my doing it alone phobia. I don't know whats wrong with me. I seem to be incapable of doing things by myself....outside of my home and work of course. I always have to have someone go with me, sign up with me, do it with me. I've missed out on doing so many things because I was to afraid to do them by myself. Not anymore! This summer I'm going to find a way to fix whatevers wrong with me.


Wish me luck!

PLANNER!

Planner! If I could use one word to describe myself that would be it. PLANNER!

I make lists, I research...I plan. Its what I'm good at, you know besides arguing and complaining. Being a planner really isn't a bad thing at all. In fact its kind of a good thing. I stay organized, I know what I want and need to do. So why blog about it?

I was listening to Morning Coach a few minutes ago and it always makes me think. JB, the guy who does Morning Coach, always talks about making dream boards and how you have to get out there and ENJOY LIFE! That you have to live in the now. I very much agree with this. You should live in the now because you never know if there will be a tomorrow. Its kind of like how you shouldn't worry because at the end of the day either what you worried about was going to happen anyways and you spent your time worrying instead of doing something productive or it doesn't happen and you worried for nothing. You can't just plan and plan and never do! Whats the point?

I make dream boards, to do lists, 101 in 1001 lists, the to do before I die lists and for what? I mean if I actually took some initiative and acted on those lists it would be great but I don't. I sit around and complain about how I don't have money, that I'm bored, or overweight. I hang around and wait for someone else to have time to take me out instead of finding a way to go out and take care of my problems myself.

There is no reason I shouldn't be able to live the life I want to live. So whats holding me back? I'm a planner.....not a doer. I need to switch to active mode and start working on making some of my dreams reality!

At the end of the day there is you and theres YOU! You're the reason your life isn't the way you want it to be. So now that I've accepted that I just need to figure out how to work with it and get things done. : )

Seems Like Yesterday.......

My brother will be 18 in one week from today! WOW!  Its so weird to think about how grown up him and my sister are. Seems like just yesterday I was the tallest out of all of us. I thought they would be short forever. : ) But not anymore.....now my brother towers over me and even my sister has an inch or so on me.  I'm no longer the smartest one or the tallest one. I'm not the one who has to take care of them anymore. I'll always be there because they're my little brother and sister but now they can fend for themselves.

Now they have their own stuff going on and they're own real problems. My sister even has her own bills......and its killing her! She hates that part of being a grown up. : ) Its so strange to think that in just a few weeks my brother will be graduating for high school. He isn't a little boy anymore....a punk maybe....but he's a man! WEIRD!!!!

He's not that little boy I used to wrestle with when we fought. He's not that little boy that cried when our parents fought. He's not that little boy that hated getting up early to go to football practice. He's not that little boy we had to drag out of bed in the morning in order to get him on the bus with us at 6:52 in the morning. He's not that sweet little boy that got picked on for being chubby.

Now he's that grown man that borrows money to buy the girl he likes flowers for her birthday. He's that grown man that wishes he could call off work every other day. He's that grown man comes and goes as he pleases. He's that grown man that takes responsibility for his mistakes and tries to make the best of the situation when most people would run away. He's that grown man that works out religiously. He's that grown man I love and have grown to respect maybe even admire. 

~Left Behind~

I was just chatting with one of the girls I went to high school with and I found out that she's pregnant! Super exciting isn't it? I'm happy for her : )  So why are we blogging? I've decided to blog today because I feel kind of left behind.

I grew up with these kids. We went to school together, hung out together after school, we had sleep overs! Some of these kids I've known since I was in kindergarden. I mean come on that is a LONG time. 3 years ago I graduated from high school. ( I know, I know it doesn't seem that long) I put off college due to a series of unfortunate events. In that time my sister graduated high school and now my little brother is getting ready to graduate. I'm just now starting school. YAY for me!

It used to bother me a lot that I had not yet started college. I mean all my friends went off to college right after we graduated or they moved or did something BIG! I stayed here with my parentals. Now a bunch of the girls I went to high school with are having babys and getting married or they have babies and are already married. So not only did I stay behind when they went off to school now I'm behind in the whole being a grown up thing to I guess.

I really don't feel like much has changed....you know besides the fact that I can legally buy alcohol. But other than that I'm still the same old me. I work at the same job I had in high school, I live with my family same as I did in high school, my best friends the same person it was in high school. I still talk to the people from high school. But not all of them! They've grown up. They went off to school....most of them will be graduating from college next year! They got married, they had babies, they became adults and I think I was just left behind. : (

Book swaping

I love to read! A few months ago I found an amazing website www.paperbackswap.com. It lets me post books I own and then alerts me when someone on the site wants that book. I then send it out, paying for postage and when that book is received by whomever requested it I get a credit. I can then go and request books. 1 book per 1 credit. Its really nifty if you read a lot.

I used to go into the Boarders and I could walk about having spent $50.00 easy. I know that doesn't seem like a lot to most people but to me thats a ton of money, especially when you're just buying a couple books.   Now with this website I don't have to buy my books anymore. I enjoy it  a lot.

It also works about pretty good for me because I have a ton of books and an amazing memory. Having an amazing memory I never have to reread a book. I can pick up a book I've read, look at the cover and remember exactly what the book was about. Rereading also doesn't suit me because I read to find out whats going to happen next. Being able to remember kind of takes the fun out of wanting to know what happens next.

Right now I'm working on collecting enough credits so I can switch them over to www.swapadvd.com That way I can get rid of my books that I don't want and trade them in for DVDs! Yeah buddy!!

Time to go get all by books out so I can post them and trade them!

Its a Mental Thing!

If you ever talk to me I'm sure I seem fairly normal but the more you get to know me the more you would realize that I'm not really that normal at all. But whose to say what normal is really? So I guess I'm not what my idea of normal is and I'm totally okay with that. : )

My brain seems to work on overtime and I'm not just talking a little over time I'm talking....if I was paid for the amount of overtime my brain does I'd be a billionaire! Besides working on overtime me and my brain seem to jump back and forth when it comes to taking sides on any sort of issue. So if I ever talk to you or you read something I wrote and I go on and on about feeling one way about a topic don't be mad when we chat later on and I've totally changed my opinion.

Anyways that being said.....I think being happy is a mental thing! I don't believe in depression although sometimes I think I feel depressed. (See why I told you about my brain?) Having gone threw a lot of stuff this past couple years I've finally decided that its time to be happy. I've wasted way to much time being angry or sad. I guess when I say that I should let you know that when I get angry or upset I don't get mad for days and hold grudges. I get super mad, like slamming doors and throwing stuff, this can last for a few minutes to a few hours. Then I nap and I wake up and I'm totally good. Usually I wake up and I feel bad for having gotten so upset because I'm really mean to my family when I get like that. It makes me feel even worse that not only was I really mean but it was over something so dumb I shouldn't have even been mad in the first place! I could go on about this for a long time so we'll just leave it at I have anger issues : (

So where was I? Oh yeah.......having decided to get happy actually has been working for me. I'd be lying if I told you that I never got mad because I still do. I've just managed to gain a little bit more control over it. I've also gotten a lot better at the apologizing after I'm mean thing. I don't like saying sorry because that would mean admitting that I was wrong in the first place when a lot of the times the issue that caused me to get mad I wasn't wrong about it was just the extent to which I blew up that I was wrong about. Does that make sense? I also don't like to apologize because you can only hear sorry so many times before it looses its sincerity and at the rate I freak out SORRY would be a very popular word in my vocabulary. I know it sounds bad but I try to limit my sorrys to when I really feel that I was in the wrong. So....having gotten better at controlling my temper and apologizing I've been a lot happier. I think its because a lot of the things that were making me unhappy where all in my head....or well maybe not all in my head but they had to do with a lot of the stuff going on in my head....confused?

Before I was angry because everyone thought I was so horrible. This is not something I'm used to! People usually like me and I get a long with just about everyone so when I come across someone that doesn't like me it bothers me a lot. I know, I know not everyone will like you! But when you go from getting along with everyone to having everyone think your the biggest bitch they've met well thats kind of horrible. I think for a long time I was in denial which made things even worse. Having people not like me made me angry at my sister because they all thought she was so great. Which made me even angrier because she's just as mean as I am she just does it on the down low so people think she's sweet. I still think that people don't realize she is mean but I've learned that most of my problems I brought on myself.  It wasn't fair to blame her for people not liking me. People didn't like me because I was a bitch! As much as it pains me to say it I was horrible to be around. Looking back I wouldn't have wanted to hangout with me either. I was bitter and always had something to complain about. Who wants to be around someone that does nothing but complain?

The more people told me how horrible I was being the more I tried to deny it or turn it around so I could tell them that they're in no place to judge me when they're just as bad as I am. I didn't like being told I was a negative person or that I always complain. It made me feel bad because thats not how I am at all. In fact my friends used to mess with me because I was abnormally HAPPY all the time! So after hearing it enough I decided that being unhappy was all on me. I was making myself miserable and it was up to me to fix it!

So now I've decided to get happy and its working! I go out with my sister and its a lot more fun...we laugh a lot. I go out with my brother once in awhile and we don't argue or anything we just chat and its fun too. I can be around all the people that I felt didn't like talking to me and be nice and friendly and we get a long too. Choosing to be happy also makes work a lot more pleasant! I still have a little ways to go but so far choosing to be happy is working out great. : ) It really is all a mental thing!

They Call them Private Parts for a REASON!

In society today it is very uncommon to meet someone who doesn't have a facebook, myyearbook, myspace, twitter, bebo, tagged or some other social network account. I myself have  or have had an account with just about every social networking site possible. Its not so much that I like the idea of social networking online its more that when I come across some sort of list I feel the need to complete it. Weird I know, I joke with my friends that I have a finish it disorder : ) So one day I came across this list of social networking sites, I think it was on wikipedia.....thank you wikipedia! Anyways that how that got started. That happened a few years ago and since then social networking has blown up. I've deleted most of my account or let them be if I couldn't remember the passwords....which happens a lot. They say its safer to use a different password for everything that way if your hacked they don't have access to all your stuff. But anybody who joins that many sites and has that many passwords knows its almost impossible to have different passwords without keeping a list....but doesn't that defeat the purpose?

Ok....the point for this post.....I've narrowed it down to a few sites that I actually don't mind using. Some because I've set goals involving them....twitter....others because its just habbit....facebook....and others because I like to play the games....myyearbook! So whats the problem? All these sites are a joke. I don't even understand the point of it. Its not actually social networking if you don't really talk to anyone on there and most people don't. People use facebook to keep tabs on people without them knowing. If you think I'm kidding I'm not. I know a lot of people who just check out peoples profiles to see what they're up to. Not a huge deal if your actually friends and have a desire to talk to the person. Its bad when your just doing it to be nosey!

Then we have twitter. I never really understood the point really who needs to know what your doing every second of every day? If its that important can't you just text them? Don't have their phone number....theres probably a reason for that! Anyways....personally I think twitter has become like a spam site. You have so many people just posting all this crap linking back to other crap. I wish I could delete tweets from people who do that....I know, I know just unfriend them or whatever...I don't like to do that its mean. Am I the only person who seems to have this problem with the crap tweeting?

Now for the main reason I decided to post this. Myyearbook! I log into my myyearbook account just about everyday to play the games. I like them because they have this causes button and the lunch money you earn playing games can be donated using this causes part. You can pick and choose the cause you want to help. Like it might be $78 per inch of blanket to help the homeless or $1,000 per sq. ft of rainforest saved. It makes me feel like I'm doing something good....whether its really helping or not I'm not totally positive. Obviously logging in you go through the home page. Well on the home page of myyearbook they have an area that shows you updates from people in your area...like new pictures posted and stuff. You have no idea how many pictures are of crap that shouldn't be posted on the internet. Girls post pictures of just their chests, or of themselves in thongs, or their underwear. Come on if I wanted to see that I'm pretty sure theres like a million porn sites on here. Have some respect for yourself! You don't need to show the entire world what your cleavage or your underwear looks like! They call them private parts for a reason....in case you haven't figured it out that reason is that they're PRIVATE! COVER THAT CRAP UP AND KEEP THE PICTURES OFF THE INTERNET!

Zodiac Signs

I'm not really into reading the daily horoscopes that are found in the paper or magazines. I think they are a bunch of crap. I mean seriously I could write them up too.......This month will bring a lot of emotion for the pisces. New relationships will be ablaze while old relationships burn out. Be careful who you let get to close, for the trusting nature of the pisces will be put to a test when that cute stranger catches your eye. With the emotional roller coaster this month will bring the pisces woman is in for the ride of her life......Okay I said I could right one not that I was very good at it. : ) My point is they could write that stuff about anyone and then you go out thinking this stuff is going to happen. Did it ever occur to anyone that if by chance your horoscope for the day or month is right on its because you read it and kept it in the back of your mind therefore changing the way you went about doing things in order to make it come true?

Now that we know I don't believe in the daily or monthly horoscopes lets jump to astrology in general. I am a very firm believer that you fit into your zodiac sign perfectly. Everyone was born on a specific day for a reason. I know, I know.....DUH! But seriously think about it. Have you every done your research about your zodiac sign and your birth chart? If you have you should know exactly what I'm talking about when I tell you that every day makes a difference.

So you have your zodiac sign...me I'm a pisces born on the 20th which puts me on the cusp. For those of you that aren't into astrology that means that I was born on the last day in the pisces sign. The 21st switches it to aries and because I was born the day before its very likely that I posses traits of that sign as well. So those of you born on the cusp makes sure you check out your sign and the sign right before or after. Each zodiac sign will give you a general idea of what a person born under that sign should be like. Pisces people were very emotional, sensitive, creative, kind, intuitive, weak willed. We're also the dreamers of the bunch. We see things the way we want to see them...through rose colored glasses most would say. We like to dream and tend to live in our own world instead of the real world.

A lot of people tend to think this is a bunch of crap because a lot of different people could fit into the description I just gave you, not just pisces people. I'm not going to lie I'm sure you're right. You could be born in November, probably making you a scorpio, read about the pisces and be like yeah I fit into this too! Sure some traits are seen among a bunch of the signs...such a being sensitive. But when you really get into it you learn that not only do you have to take your zodiac sign into account you also have to look at what kind of sign  you are. Are you a water, earth, air or fire sign? Being a scorpio reading a pisces horoscope of course you would relate to the sensitive nature. You too are a water sign making you sensitive as well just not to the degree of the pisces.

So we're looking at the zodiac sign and what kind of sign you are. Now you take your exact birthdate. Its time to create your birth chart! Like I said before the general description of your sign should fit you which is kind of neat I think but for the sake of this blog lets say you aren't a believer. Sure your description fits you but so does 2 or 3 of the other sign descriptions. That can all be explained when you look at where the planets where on the day you were born. On each day of the year the planets can change into a different sign. So while you might be a scorpio when you look at the day you were born you could have Mercury in Capricorn, Venus in Aries, Jupiter in Pisces, Neptune in Libra and so on. Get what I'm saying? Each of the planets where in a certain sign on the day you were born and all that comes into play when describing you as a person. If you take the time to look it up you will see it should be pretty right on in describing the kind of person  you are.



Me I'm a pisces! The two fish constantly swimming in opposite directions. Pisces people are often confused people. We have an extremely hard time making up our minds because we're constantly being pulled in two different directions. Makes sense right with the fish as our sign! We're very generous, caring people which has a tendency to get us walked all over. We don't like to be criticized for our sensitivity runs deeper than any other sign and even the smallest of remarks can hurt our feelings whether it was meant to or not. We also tend to take on the problems of everyone around us. We want to fix everything and make everyone feel happy because we can't stand to see people hurting. For myself this is all very true.

Being born on the 20th  heres my birth chart.

Mercury was in pisces
Venus was in pisces
Mars was in Gemini
Jupiter was in Gemini
Saturn was in Capricorn
Uranus was in Capricorn
Neptune was in Capricorn
Pluto was in Scorpio
Moon was in Virgo

What does this all mean for me?

I'm intelligent but instead of relying on logic I tend to rely on instinct and intuition. I have an awesome memory. I have a tendencies to put my problems on those around me. I don't hold grudges and am a very forgiving person. I appreciate all that is beautiful and am very romantic. I'm very talkative and full of ideas but thats about as far as it goes. I like to talk about ideas and let others carry on with the actions. I know a little bit about a lot of things but can never really bring myself to concentrate on on subject. I make friends easily and am fairly easy to get along with. Determined to succeed and desiring of respect. Okay I'm sure you have a pretty good idea now what I'm talking about so I'm going to stop here because I can go on forever.

I myself believe whole heartedly that your zodiac sign is right on and can describe the kind of person you are in more detail than you can imagine. We all end up where we're supposed to be in the calendar which makes me believe even more that everything happens for a reason.

Remember When?

I just read a forward email about how easy kids have it today. I think that kind of stuff is hilarious : ) Being 21 years old you wouldn't even consider putting the word old anywhere close to you! But guess what....the more I think about the more I can relate to those emails. I'm not saying I used to buy pepsi for a nickel but I do have a better understand of where you guys are coming from.

So here's some of the things that make me feel old! : (

* You can't find a toy you used to play with when you were younger.....think skip it (the ones that actually counted your jumps)

* Disney movies that used to be your favorite are only available on VHS......at insanely high prices ( think Zenon Girl of the 21st century)

* Just the letters VHS.....Those big rectangular things you had to be really careful not to get stuck in the VCR....another foreign letter combination it seems

* People actually went to high school games to WATCH the game....imagine that! Now its all about socializing and everyone could care less whats going on in the game

* Kids were given allowances of a reasonable amount (maybe $15 a week) for actually doing chores

* People kept real journals...good old pen and paper instead of blogs

* Cameras used the rolls of film and you'd have to drop them off to be developed....even before the one hour photo

* What you see is what you get when in came to pictures....if you took a crappy picture you got a crappy picture.

* Discmans used to be the thing to have. Everyone thought they were so cool walking around with their discman and their big heavy duty headphones....which brings us to the next...

* No ear buds...just regular up and over the head headphones.

* Actually sitting down with the whole family for dinner which was cooked at home every night

* Using the atlas trying to find our way home from vacation......no mapquest.....no GPS

* Hearing that a 17 year old was pregnant was a shocker......now you just whatever it because a new one pops up every few hours.

* Turning the TV and seeing something besides reality TV (sabrina the Teenage Witch, Two of  a Kind, Full House, The Brady Bunch, Three's Company, Sister Sister)

* You actually had to go to the video store to rent a movie....which would have been a VHS

This list could go on forever : )

Everyone has those moments that they feel old.....even at 21!

~*~*Happy 21st Birthday*~*~

Well we finally made it to 21.....YAY!!!!!!!!!

Last night was so great! My sister and mom surprised me at work with a bunch of Happy Birthday balloons and flowers. That was so sweet and the flowers were so pretty.

Then my boss gave me a gift card to the cheesecake factory. That was super nice of them! Thanks guys! They also made sure to call at exactly midnight to wish me a Happy Birthday. : )

I got home from work and came upstairs to find my sister had put streamers and balloons up in my room.   Then in the bathroom I found a bunch of confetti with a cute class she painted a 21 on and stuffed with goodies....yay! I love instant scratch lottos and she got me a couple of those....2 bingos which are my favorite. : )

Its almost 8:00 am and I'm already having an amazing birthday. Thanks so much!!!!!!

~Advice~

I'm a very opinionated person so whenever someone comes to me with a problem of any sort I always have something to say about it. Being friends with a very diverse group of people I hear about a lot of very different situations, some of which I can relate to others that I hope I never relate to.

Of course when I have a problem I run to my friends or family for their opinions on what I should do but I'm also a very stubborn person and once I've made up my mind about something there is no changing it. So I listen to their advice some good, some bad but in the end I hardly ever take it because no matter what sticky mess I've gotten myself into deep down I've already decided what to do about it. Am I a freak? Why do I go looking for peoples opinions on things when I have made up my mind 100% and I know there is no changing it?

Maybe everyones like that a little bit! You can be in a situation and deep down you know what you should do but you also know what you're going to do. You go to your friends asking for advice and they usually tell you what you already know you should do but of course.....in one ear and out the other! Because you've made up your mind!

Being in love is a great example...I have this guy friend. Super nice guy, probably one of the sweetest guys I've ever met in my life. Well he has some really crappy luck when it comes to girls and relationships. He always ends up with the horrible girls. You guys think that nice girls end up with crappy guys and they are so dumb for sticking around right? Well let me tell you nice guys end up with really horrific girls too! Its kind of sad that such great people are always attracted to the worst match possible. Anyways....So this guy falls into love and when he falls he falls hard. Girl breaks his heart and he calls me looking for my take on the situation. I go through this with him every time he falls into like, always with a crappy girl, always the advice! You're better off without her, you're such a nice guy you deserve so much better. Why do you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you? He lets him self be that back burner guy and he's totally okay with it as long as she comes back. He loves her so much, she means everything to him and yet he allows her to treat him like crap. She runs off messing with her ex boyfriend and he doesn't even care. He's willing to look the other way as long as she says there is still a chance that he could end up being her guy. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!! Are you out of your mind???????

Its so easy for me to look at his situation and tell him that he's crazy for letting her treat him like that. That he needs to just let her go! But lets be honest here how many of us give that advice to a friend in need when really we should be taking it ourselves? How many of us know that we're in a relationship thats going nowhere with a guy that doesn't even deserve the time of day?

I put up with a guy for 3 years. A guy that all my friends told me was bad for me. That I deserved better, that he would just end up hurting me. I of course thought they were wrong, I defended him, I thought he was just having a tough time and things would get better. I was the idiot!

How come its so easy for us to give advice but not to take it?

This happens to me all the time, not just when it comes to guys but when it comes to just about everything. My friends tell me they hate their jobs or that they hate living at home. Its so easy for me to be like move out, go back to school, save your money, get a different job! But when I look at my situation I just feel stuck. Like every things no as simple for me as it is for my friends. But then I think about it and its like come on....who am I kidding? Either there is no quick fix answer for anyone, like I always think there is when I give advice, or I'm just making excuses for myself and I need to step up and take some of my own advice!

When I give advice it frustrates me so much when people want to complicate it. You listen to their situation and BAM you have an answer for them! When I tell them my solution to their problem they give my reason after reason as to why it wouldn't work. I know its sounds mean but this makes me want to knock them out of their chair! It isn't that complicated at all you just have to get off your ass and take action instead of hanging around complaining about everything. But when it comes to my problems I sit in that chair and make excuse after excuse as to why I can't just quick fix my problems.  So what does that say about me? Am I a hypocrite? Am I a freak?

Smile.....You're Living the Life!

I hear all the time about how depressed people are. I hear about horrible things that are happening all over the world. I hear about heartbreak, financial struggle, confusion and greed. What happened to all the good? If theres one thing I can't stand it would be watching the news. Have you ever noticed that its always full of bad stuff? Haiti, war, car accidents, shootings, price increases, unemployment rates sky rocketing, death! Why can't they show the good stuff? Then it occurred to me that people think in order for it to be considered good it has to be some sort of monumental event. I DON'T THINK SO!!!!! So here is a list of a all the little things that make me feel happy!

~ How light and different your hair feels after you get a hair cut. Its an awesome feeling when you run your fingers through your hair right after you get it cut and no matter how little they take off you can always tell the difference.

~ They way you feel after someone, anyone exchanges a smile with you. Or even better when you are in a pissy mood and you look up to find a stranger who smiles at you with such warmth you can't help but feel good.

~ How great it feels to sit down on the couch after you're done deep cleaning and look at what you've accomplished. Sure getting there wasn't much fun but man its always worth it!

~ Opening your fortune cookie at you've just finished eating your weight in chinese food hoping you got an awesome fortune even though you know its silly.....the way you feel when you read it and realize you did get an awesome fortune...Yay for you!

~ Walking outside after someone has just mowed the grass and being able to smell the freshly cut lawn.

~ Singing in the shower : )

~ Having someone you know surprise you at work

~ Getting flowers for no reason

~ Feeling good after you donate your coins to that santa guy even when you don't really want to let them go

~ Seeing a movie on opening night

~ Kicking your best friends butt in video games.....if you lose make sure you're a good sport about it...if you aren't they wont want to play with you anymore and you'll never get your turn to show them who really rocks : )

~ Eating pizza while watching your favorite TV show

~ That feeling you get when your show ends and you just can't wait for next weeks episode

~ Having someone say I love you and knowing deep down that they really do

~ Reading cute forward emails....yeah I know some of them are annoying but some of them make us smile

~ Paying bills....I know it sounds weird but isn't it a good feeling when you put that envelope in the mail box or hit the submit button knowing that, thats out of the way

~ Eating till your stuffed and you feel like you have to unbutton your pants.....now this isn't good to do all the time but once in awhile its good for you!

~ Receiving a postcard, birthday card, or letter from someone

~ The look on someones face when they open a gift you've given them

~ Realizing that your team made it to playoffs

~ Painting yourself to get ready for the big game

~ Seeing the guys that paint themselves at the game

~ Having a cute stranger notice you

~ Waking up before the alarm actually feeling refreshed and ready to jump out of bed

~ Finding a penny on the ground

~ Lounging on the couch with your blankie watching your favorite DVDs

~ Finding out someone you didn't think knew you existed knows your name

~ Hearing your new favorite song on the radio

~ Riding around in the summer with your windows down and the radio blasting

~ Rearranging your bedroom furniture

~ Seeing how happy your pets are to see you when you walk in the door

~ Falling asleep on the phone with that special someone

~ Decorating for a holiday or a party

~ Buying something new for yourself

~ Looking at old pictures

~ Wining on a scratch off lotto ticket...even if its only $2

~ Getting every green light when your driving somewhere

~ Getting a good grade

~ Having someone compliment you

~ How awesome your finger nails look when they've just been painted

~ Digging out the summer clothes because its finally SHORT weather! : )

~ Jumping into the pool for the first time every day

~ Getting into bed after you've just put clean sheets on....the crisp cool feel of clean sheets

~ Having a bee fly right by you and not getting stung

~ Eating ice cream in the summer

~ Reaching in your coat pocket and finding money

~ Opening your wallet and seeing money!

~ Knowing you only have an hour left before your day off

~ Having someone ask for your advice

~ Watching your favorite Disney classic

~ Realizing just how soft your skin is

~ Seeing a slug bug on the road

~ Walking outside and realizing your flowers have bloomed

~ Realizing just how pretty your neighborhood is

~ Seeing a rainbow after it rains

~ Hearing a funny joke

~ Knowing you left your waiter a really good tip

~ Getting in a car thats already warm when its freezing outside

~ Spending time with people you love



I'm sure I can go on forever but I think thats a pretty good list and I'm sure you get the idea. Not everything good has to be a significant event in your life. Sometimes the best things in life are the smallest and a lot of us don't even realize we're missing out on them waiting for something bigger!

There's always a lesson to learn!

How many wrong turns can you make before you get where you're going?

I believe that everything happens for a reason! I suppose that also goes with what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!

As hard as both of these things are to accept I suppose its true. I mean really, think about it.....every bad thing that has happened during my life has taught me something or made me stronger as a person. 

When you go through a break up with someone you love you think its the absolute worse. How will you ever be able to get over it? With some time, some tears and maybe some chocolate trust me you will and when you do you'll realize that your better off with out him! Of course that relationship was fun right and you'll never want to forget the good times and you sure wont forget the bad but now you've learned. You've grown as a person. Lucky you....you're one step closer to finding your prince charming! : )

How about when you go through hard financial times? Ring a bell for anyone? As much as it sucks to have to be broke all the time, to have to struggle to make that car payment or to find that extra cash to keep your car off check gage there is a reason for it. Did you ever think that maybe your supposed to learn to budget your money or that your being taught a bigger lesson....like you should appreciate what you have! There will always be someone out there who has less than you and now a days people always want more! Got to have the latest phone, hand bag, jeans, shoes, etc. I'm not saying that I never fall into that role because I do a lot just like most people. I'm just saying that maybe we're being taught a lesson. We shouldn't take what we have for granted! Appreciate that you have a cell phone that works....there's really no reason you absolutely have to go buy that new blackberry as soon as its released. Or for the Apple fans out there....the iphone. I know a guy thats been through more iphones than I've had cellphones and trust me those things aren't cheap. If you have an iphone is it really necessary to go buy a new one every time they release a new version?

Medical problems anyone? I myself am a narcoleptic. Now a lot of people don't think this is a serious problem. In fact my own family seems to think that it should be a breeze to live with. Well guys its not! In fact its extremely difficult to live with. As much as I could scream and shout about how its not fair that I was given this disability I can also look you in the eye and tell you that a lot of good has come from it too. There are a few main lessons I believe I'm suppose to learn from this but in all honesty I'm still working on learning them. The first is that being put in a tough situation doesn't give you reason to give up! You kind of just have to suck it up and accept that life wont be as easy as you thought. The second lesson I believe I was mean to learn is that I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. 

I've been through a lot of tough stuff this past year, year and a half. Being a young adult its been really hard on me. Taking on more problems than any one person should have to I can definitely say from experience that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!